You said no thanks to the Mariah Carey tickets, don’t know a slap shot from a slam dunk, and couldn’t care less about the horse show.

Basically, you steer clear of the Verizon Center.

But now there’s a reason to ...

You can think of lots of reasons not to go to the gym. DMV-length lines for the treadmill; spandex-clad gym rats one-upping each other; pulsating, pump-you-up playlists.

Oh. And everyone eyeing you as you try to lift that five-pound weight.

Most people’s mail piles are mini Bermuda Triangles of printed material, where innocent letters get lost in the pages of coupon books, Spiegel catalogs, and heaps of credit card offers.

So how do you ensure that your correspondence stands out? Send cards ...

There goes Muffy Vangelderson. Daughter of Senator Vangelderson. Girlfriend of Timothy Roberts III. Multiple diamonds, perfectly coiffed Chevy Chase Club tennis court habitue.

And terrorizer of you.

Rather than key her Alfa Romeo, why not beat her at her own ...

You know what they say: out with the old, in with the new.

How very shortsighted they are. Nana’s needlepoint pillows? They rival Jonathan Adler’s. And Mom’s vintage DVF? Back away from the trash can. If they told you to ...

Wouldn’t it be great if the next time someone asked you what you were doing on Saturday, you could say Madonna was coming over to cook dinner?

Not gonna happen.

But you can get the president to drop by and ...

As many a nature lover will tell you, animals aren’t so different from us. They mate for life (about as often as we do). They teach their young. They play the accordion.

Well, at the least the ones pictured on ...